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Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Don't know what to say

I don't know what to say about anything today. I've been stuck at home with my daughter for the past two months. They finally figured out she had a sinus infection and bronchitis. Together, this has been aggravating her asthma.

My mother feels like a distant memory right now. I don't know why that is... I miss her so much... It makes me sad that she feels so distant. But I guess death causes that... I wonder what happens after we die. I always wonder about that. Certainly more so now. The medical examiner's office may have mixed her up with another person. They missed a noticable tattoo, and made many other mistakes along the way too. It took 5 months for a final death certificate, and they missed every identifying feature of my mother. I'm pissed. Now I have to go down there at look at their autopsy photos. After everything we've been through, now I have to look at pictures of my dead mother. Don't die in pierce county. They suck.

I'm so tired... I've been sleeping a lot lately... I'm just so very tired. My soul is tired, it has been for a long time, and this has only drained it further.

My uncle is as useless as he is mean about all of this... I have very little support. I have a therapist, which helps, since there's nobody else to talk to about things.

I haven't written in a while because I've been inundated with responsibilities and obligations. I will make more time, and try to write something more interesting next time.

I'm exhausted. Good night.