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Tuesday, December 8, 2015

My therapist wants a timeline

1982 - born. Anaphylactic reaction to penicillin was discovered.

1984 - fled father's drughouse in portland after Dr said someone was probably sexually abusing me.

1986 - discovered mom's drug use (cocaine at the time), moved somewhere and kept moving every six months until we got to lake tapps (in 05)

1987 - got my first guitar, male babysitter sexually abused me, joined girl scouts (don't remember leaving??)

1989 - kicked a dude's ass for trying to rape my mom (nuts, then cast iron skillet)

somewhere between 88 and 92 I was sexually abused by my mom's dad, probably for a while. I don't remember.

1990 - mom met her life long best friend. sister was born and I took care of her at night while mom slept because her dad was in jail (she didn't know I was taking care of her) lived in buried off ambaumb.

1992 - broke wrist saving a little girl from falling into concrete in icy weather lived in east hill in Kent.

1993 - started smoking, weed too.

1994 - psycho grandma broke a chair over my back, dislocating my shoulder. worked with another 12 year old to run a babysitting business (started paying rent) then was a live in nanny for several months (for a prostitute) Was often scared in our neighborhood because I was one of the only white kids. Got caught shoplifting (at the same exact store my mother and uncle did at roughly the same age) because I was sitting in the middle of the aisle with my friend eating their candy. was kicked out of gym class for cutting. Mom took me to a psychiatrist, who I wouldn't talk to because he was rude. He put me on Prozac, which made me psychotic. then I sold it.

93-01 experimented with many drugs

1995 to 1996 -got my first electric guitar and some lessons, moved to federal way, got expelled, got caught shoplifting (cigarettes, mostly) again, this time because I didn't care. Again. got a lifetime ban from that Fred Meyer hahaha

moved to federal way into a place with bullet holes in the door, mom got married, baby brother was born, took care of him at night so mom could sleep (she didn't know). got expelled, started dating a guy who quit high school and was working full time at pizza hut

sent to Truman, got expelled

kicked out of home by mom's husband. Crashed with "friends" for a few weeks, then stayed on the streets. Mostly u-dist, sometimes downtown by yesler with the other homeless people. Sold drugs to eat. There are vents on the street there that let off heat, so I slept above them in a black garbage bag someone gave me during the cold months, got hassled by cops a lot (still do)

1997 - moved in with psycho grandma, who kicked my ass a lot. Called cops on her once and she convinced them I was just a brat trying to get her in trouble and caused all the bruises myself

1997 - started dating abusive asshole who beat and raped me regularly

1998 - first job, was immediately promoted to management, moved in with him and got engaged to him

Late 1999 - mom helped me escape and got me into a place where the landlord didn't care that I was underage. Lived in Seattle on my own, working 60 hrs a week
Briefly dated (kinda) a nice guy who was premed, then dated a woman afterward. I think she was a nice person with a lot of issues. we stopped talking to my mom's dad when my sister spoke out about him sexually abusing her (i never did).

2000 - let my then abusive girlfriend live with me, then fled to Kent with a friend who kept in contact with her (also leaving my job behind), dated some random guy for a few months (found out later that he had a kid and the mom had a restraining order against him because he beat her, but I could've taken him in a fight), moved back in with my psycho grandma, worked at dennys and godfathers to pay rent at psycho's house

2001 - got my ged, met daughter's dad (at work), got pregnant, got engaged. Put on bed rest due to pregnancy complications. Grandma decided she didn't want to work anymore, so we moved in with my mom and her asshole husband. Watched my little brother after school. Got attacked by psycho grandma, and moved into daughter's dad's mom's house with him. She was terminally ill

2002 - daughter's paternal grandma died. child was born! (two weeks later), delivery was terribly complicated, literally broke parts of my back

2003 - diagnosed with thyroid cancer and went through treatment and my mom went through interferon treatment alongside my cancer treatment until 2004
State denied to pay for my cancer treatment, so the Seattle Indian health board did it. I owe them my life.

2003 - lived with a psycho bitch for a  few months who eventually came to my mom's house and threatened my life because I was spending more time with my mom than I was her, had to wean my daughter cold turkey so I could start cancer treatment, daughter's dad tried to sign his rights away but I was an idiot and talked him out of it

2004 - worked at safeway, (stayed w safeway for two years before being bullied out of my job).

2005 - got first driver's license & car

2006 - finally ended ridiculous engagement with daughter's dad because we only heard from him once a month, he didn't want her, and he wasn't helping at all, started college for the first time (with a 6th grade education), my mom got divorced (after 10 years of marriage) and bought a house with an asshole

2006 - moved in with alcoholic abusive asshole who hit and raped me regularly... Paid all the bills alone. Douche. Uh... Was diagnosed bipolar during acute a mania and put on seroquel. It made my head foggy. Did some illegal stuff... started college again at a (different) school in Tacoma for something I wasn't that interested in, cops were constantly harassing me. guilty by association, I guess. Daughter had to sleep in the living room because there was constantly gunfire (gang related) on the street facing the bedroom window

2007 - fled that guy (he stalked me for 3 years after), leaving with no coat, no shoes, no bra, literally fought my way out with my daughter. this was after I paid 3 months of his bills to help him get back on his feet. He couldn't get a job because he was constantly drunk. Continued school even though attacker decided to attend the same school (since I'd fixed his outstanding student loans. I also paid his child support for him because I'm stupid), moved back in with mom and her fuckface boyfriend who treated everyone (including her) like shit.
Between 06 and 07 was in four car accidents, three with me as the driver, all injuring me, one I caused on purpose in 06 because dude wouldn't let me merge. I felt bad on impact and apologized profusely. My insurance reimbursed him and I saw him a few months later in an even better truck. I was happy for him, and sorry for the bullshit I caused him

2008 - finished program, but didn't have a chance to complete the math to graduate (needed a year, but was maxed out in child care hours for the program alone), got a job as a chemist in Redmond somehow, moved to Mountlake terrace, then Duvall.

2009 - brothers dad died on Halloween, psycho grandma was put into a home due to dementia and other psychosis

2010 - daughter jumped off a ten foot concrete wall onto more concrete, landing head first and missed her birthday party. great grandmother died 6 months after becoming totally paralyzed and unable to speak due to a massive stroke. I had been driving to portland every weekend to see her, lost my chemist job because my daughter had fucking pertussis (so did I, we think former step dad might have too, but his family refused an autopsy because they're idiots)

2011 - started an unsuccessful cleaning business, while attending yet another college full time. Worked in L.A. for a while for a guy I was engaged to. He was an ass. He screamed at my sister the first time he talked to her, not even letting her speak. I ended things immediately, and changed my locks because he was stalking me. couldn't afford my apartment anymore so my mom bailed me out of my lease and I came to live with her, got cna cert (paid for it myself with ui benefits, also paid rent, as I had since age 12), got a job at a healthcare center. started dating a guy at work, who turned out to be a horrible person (i knew that, I was hoping he'd change, in fact, I knew with all of them). I was "with him" kinda for about 6 months.

2012 - moved here, after mom discovered stupid fuckface was cheating on her (for years, apparently. they were together 10). That guy is a complete narcissist. started dating another guy at work, who was a great person, but regarded me as an option. I went in meds after he talked me out of killing myself for the billionth time during the same mixed state. I only saw him once a month. We were together two years

2013 - left job because of horrendous working conditions made worse by narcissistic ex. he told everyone we never dated and that I was just a psycho stalker. he's still with the girl he was cheating on me with. went back to school again. managed to work out all issues my mother and I had

2014 - mom died. crushed me. did NOTHING for a year. found out mom's dad is dying of cancer. good for him. no one cares. met my dad's side of the family. they seem nice.

2015 - guy I was dating stopped talking to me a few days before my birthday. got a new job as a peer counselor and here we are. the rest I don't remember. Oh yeah, I worked full time during all of this (age 12- now), except the 5 months during pregnancy (when I watched my brother to save mom money on childcare) and the 18 months I was breastfeeding my daughter, and briefly was on unemployment while running two business and going to school.









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