Fake plastic love... I get that. completely. I think my meds might be too low. I'm having those moments (months) where I think I'm being brilliant when I'm not, and then moments (weeks to months) like this. But since time itself is only an illusion, what difference does a little thing like how long my suffering lasts really matter to the universe? I am a speck of dust. I am a speck of dust as far as humans are concerned, too. Particularly me.
On to fake plastic love... I wonder what real love is? I don't think I'd know it if it walked up and bit my ass. Several things have... Namely words I've uttered... Thoughts are dripping today, rather than rushing forward like a break in a dam. My brain is melted, or so it feels...Since I have no clue what the real thing looks like, how would I know what fake looks like, you ask? Well, I know a few things... Fake love is founded on lies, insecurity, filling a void, or some combination thereof. I'm sure there are other kinds of fake love... For example, if you are in a relationship with someone you almost never see, is it real? The love might be, but the relationship most likely is not. Because it most likely is non-existent.
Blah blah blah... I wonder pretty often what nursing homes will be like when my generation gets to them. I hope I make it long enough to find out. I think my cancer will come back though, if I don't end up killing myself somehow first. I'm taking an English class this quarter. I think that's where some of my words have gone. The rest, I'm afraid is probably depression. Depression is a mean little parasite, feeding off of any little shreds of you in can find... Until there is nothing left and you're empty like I am. One more time! With feeling! Sorry Mrs. E (my 6th grade orchestra teacher), but I'm just not able today... Maybe tomorrow.
DId you know that before people die, the body tries to prepare by emptying? That's everything... But there is always some left behind. That's where CNAs come in. Postmortem care involves cleaning the patient's entire body, particularly peri-care (that's clean up of pee & poop for those not in the know...). After they are cleaned, redressed in nice clothes, their bedding changed, and their body staged for family goodbyes, they are sent off to the morgue, where they will be cleaned and dressed up again. The more you know...
On to fake plastic love... I wonder what real love is? I don't think I'd know it if it walked up and bit my ass. Several things have... Namely words I've uttered... Thoughts are dripping today, rather than rushing forward like a break in a dam. My brain is melted, or so it feels...Since I have no clue what the real thing looks like, how would I know what fake looks like, you ask? Well, I know a few things... Fake love is founded on lies, insecurity, filling a void, or some combination thereof. I'm sure there are other kinds of fake love... For example, if you are in a relationship with someone you almost never see, is it real? The love might be, but the relationship most likely is not. Because it most likely is non-existent.
Blah blah blah... I wonder pretty often what nursing homes will be like when my generation gets to them. I hope I make it long enough to find out. I think my cancer will come back though, if I don't end up killing myself somehow first. I'm taking an English class this quarter. I think that's where some of my words have gone. The rest, I'm afraid is probably depression. Depression is a mean little parasite, feeding off of any little shreds of you in can find... Until there is nothing left and you're empty like I am. One more time! With feeling! Sorry Mrs. E (my 6th grade orchestra teacher), but I'm just not able today... Maybe tomorrow.
DId you know that before people die, the body tries to prepare by emptying? That's everything... But there is always some left behind. That's where CNAs come in. Postmortem care involves cleaning the patient's entire body, particularly peri-care (that's clean up of pee & poop for those not in the know...). After they are cleaned, redressed in nice clothes, their bedding changed, and their body staged for family goodbyes, they are sent off to the morgue, where they will be cleaned and dressed up again. The more you know...
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