Recently, I have decided that it is time I start reading whatever I want into the words spoken by discouraging folks around me.
"No, really, I do know what you meant by that. That doesn't mean I have to care."
I'm so tired of people attempting to talk me out of things, or into things, into thinking I am less than they are, or less than they think I should be for whatever reason...
"You're attempting a bachelor's degree when you couldn't even finish your associates? You want to do WHAT (?!) with the rest of your life? You can't do that... People spend their whole lives preparing to do that. What makes you think you can just wake up one day..." "You won't get in. Why bother trying? You're wasting your time. Quit dreaming and take care of your kid." BLAH BLAH BLAH
"only an idiot could get to be my age without a real, formal education?" Hmmm...that sounds much better as, "Look how far you've gotten with only an unfinished associate degree! Wow. I wonder why I couldn't do that..." Half the time, it probably means something resembling that anyway...
So, recently, my response to criticism has been to take it however I want to. After all, it isn't their life, and they don't really care. They won't be cautiously planning the details of my future. They aren't providing for my life, or anyone in it but themselves. Someone has to...
So, "How could you screw THIS up??" is easily answered by "M-hmm... Yes, I am a quick learner, thanks."
My whole life I have listened to everyone else, and so obediently. The result is not having accomplished the majority of the things I wanted to. Staying within a box that someone else decided was all I could have. Come to think of it, I really don't feel like I have accomplished much at all. Now, there are a few supportive people around me, who upon reading this will say am that I am selling myself short by making this comment. However, deep inside, I know that everything I have accomplished amounts to almost nothing compared to what I CAN accomplish, and that is the point. What I have accomplished thus far, really is relatively normal, meaning that in my circumstances, most people who wanted to undertake the things I have would be successful. I can do better than that.
Most of the people who you'd think would be supportive of me wouldn't agree. So, I go it essentially alone, slowly, I am learning to let the comments of others, outsiders, bounce off of me. I know that since they don't have a clue, their opinions are meaningless.
"I CAN'T do it? But....why?" (sad face)
No more. My choices are owned by me and me alone from this moment forward. Forget your thoughts, advice, etc. I made a mistake? Good. Means I'm learning something. I've always lived with the mentality that all experiences are good because they teach you something. Maybe I was too gray in my definition initially, but the general concept is still with me. My mistakes are my own. They aren't yours, and they aren't your business. Even if I work with you, whatever mistake I make will be solved long before it ever reaches you, so why do you care? How does it really affect you?
See, I've addressed your concern.
"I'm a what..? Oh, yeah, I am pretty smart. Thanks."
Call it denial, whatever floats your boat... See above.
