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Thursday, August 30, 2012

Letting go

I've come to the realization that I'm so afraid of loss that i cause it to happen before i can really become attached to anything i fear losing. I've known about this pattern for a while, i suppose, but at the moment, it's all too clear that when i cling, I'm really pushing... I need to stop pushing you away and let go. I want to, if that matters any... I'm fine until i realize how much I'm starting to like you. Once i realize it, things get scary, and i do things that i know will only create distance.
I don't know if I'm afraid to like you because I'm afraid to lose you, or because i shouldn't like you, which further muddles the waters. You are right. I need to let go, let life, or whatever, take the reigns... I need to let it show me, to let you show me.
Let go.