So I have this huge research paper due. I thought it was due in two weeks... Nope. It's due in THREE DAYS. Why am I not surprised that I got the date wrong? I'm having trouble getting started writing, so I thought I'd come here for a bit... then do some research, since I haven't even started that, let alone my paper... then stay up all night writing. Hopefully, I can pull it off. Do I take my meds? Or skip them knowing that mania will actually help here?? I think I will skip them for now.... since they cause mental dulling... but I have to be up early tomorrow to put out fires in my life... and my meds MAKE me sleep. Not just sleepy, but SLEEP. For hours and hours and hours.... If I skip them entirely, who knows what will happen, but I need to be manic right now. I have way too much shit to get done, a dull mind, no motivation and very little energy. I need that drastic upswing. Maybe I'll skip them just for tonight... I'm a little afraid... Something I never really felt before I took meds. I feel kind of over medicated these days anyway... one night won't kill me... hopefully... I need to research, but it's so damn noisy here. I wish I had my shit together so there wouldn't be so many fires... and noises...
Fire
Noise
Dirt
Elbow!
I think I'll skip them for tonight. I think even my man would understand this time. I just won't do it again without my Pdoc's permission. I think I talked about 100 million miles per hour in my therapy session today, and yet, when it comes to this assignment, I have no words. I have no idea what she's really expecting of me, so all I can really do is read a lot, spill a bunch of words out and hope for the best. Pray, really. The paper is 4-6 pages, which would be fine for me if it wasn't a gigantic research assignment. If I could just spill out stream of consciousness, I'd be in great shape. But, no, I have to actually KNOW what the fuck I'm talking about. Shit. And people are awake, making toast in my bedroom. Because I live in the damn living room of someone else's house. This is lovely. Three days. My kid's still awake, too, because unlike me, nothing can make her sleep. That's why I'm here instead of researching. I don't need focus to be here, it just all spills out. I think I might give the link to my therapist and really let her see what goes on in my head, but there are probably things I really don't want her knowing here. Or anyone. Thanks for being such a great sounding board, by the way. Oh my god... I have to get started on this... On top of all that, I'm using my phone's internet connection because comcast sucks donkey dong.
I don't think I was ever really afraid of anything before I was medicated. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, because fear is really debilitating when you aren't accustomed to it. Fear sucks. I know I was anxious, but that's an entirely different feeling than fear. Fear can eat you up. Anxiety just makes you wanna walk around a lot. That's good exercise anyway.
So, I've noticed a HUGE spike in views lately, and once again, that has me wondering who the hell all you people out there on teh interwebs are???????? TELL ME! I command you! Dammit! That never works! Why doesn't that ever work. I wish I cold read people's minds. Than I'd know what my instructor wants me to write. I really don't feel the instructions were that clear. Would you believe this entire post has taken me less than 15 minutes to write? Oh yeah... Now I SHARE said living room with ANOTHER PERSON. Makes studying easy. lol
Toilet. Busiest place in the house. Damn. I type fast. That's a whole lot of words. Ok, my work is done here. You're very welcome, anonymous people of the who knows what from who knows where. Good day. I said GOOD DAY!
Fire
Noise
Dirt
Elbow!
I think I'll skip them for tonight. I think even my man would understand this time. I just won't do it again without my Pdoc's permission. I think I talked about 100 million miles per hour in my therapy session today, and yet, when it comes to this assignment, I have no words. I have no idea what she's really expecting of me, so all I can really do is read a lot, spill a bunch of words out and hope for the best. Pray, really. The paper is 4-6 pages, which would be fine for me if it wasn't a gigantic research assignment. If I could just spill out stream of consciousness, I'd be in great shape. But, no, I have to actually KNOW what the fuck I'm talking about. Shit. And people are awake, making toast in my bedroom. Because I live in the damn living room of someone else's house. This is lovely. Three days. My kid's still awake, too, because unlike me, nothing can make her sleep. That's why I'm here instead of researching. I don't need focus to be here, it just all spills out. I think I might give the link to my therapist and really let her see what goes on in my head, but there are probably things I really don't want her knowing here. Or anyone. Thanks for being such a great sounding board, by the way. Oh my god... I have to get started on this... On top of all that, I'm using my phone's internet connection because comcast sucks donkey dong.
I don't think I was ever really afraid of anything before I was medicated. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, because fear is really debilitating when you aren't accustomed to it. Fear sucks. I know I was anxious, but that's an entirely different feeling than fear. Fear can eat you up. Anxiety just makes you wanna walk around a lot. That's good exercise anyway.
So, I've noticed a HUGE spike in views lately, and once again, that has me wondering who the hell all you people out there on teh interwebs are???????? TELL ME! I command you! Dammit! That never works! Why doesn't that ever work. I wish I cold read people's minds. Than I'd know what my instructor wants me to write. I really don't feel the instructions were that clear. Would you believe this entire post has taken me less than 15 minutes to write? Oh yeah... Now I SHARE said living room with ANOTHER PERSON. Makes studying easy. lol
Toilet. Busiest place in the house. Damn. I type fast. That's a whole lot of words. Ok, my work is done here. You're very welcome, anonymous people of the who knows what from who knows where. Good day. I said GOOD DAY!
