Absence

It looks like I haven't written in a while... I've been lost in the deep dark crevices of depression and haven't been able to crawl out. Strange, that's usually when I write the most.
Her absence is a sucking void that nothing fills. What was once a thriving, loving relationship between mother and child, and of two soul sisters is now gone. All that remains is emptiness. Life feels pointless, yet I must make many life altering decisions RIGHT NOW. Just to survive. I wish I could prosper like so many others do, but is not in my hand for now. Perhaps a move will bring in some better cards,along with the winds of remorse, regret and agony. I am stuck, and quickly running out of time and money to get "unstuck". I need a miracle. But there isn't one in my ass to pull out, and frankly, I don't have the momentum to attempt to create one. I feel drained and half dead. I miss her every second of every day. She was truly a major source of light to all those who knew her, and I how she can see that now. She was there for everyone, for everything, no questions asked. She was everyone's best friend. And she didn't even get a proper autopsy! I hate the medical examiners office.
She was the best person I ever knew, and I pray to no one that I'll someday be rejoined with her. She was my other half. She knew all my secrets, and I hers. She loved me anyway, and not just because she had to. My whole world revolved around her. My life is shattered, and is now comprised entirely of pointless bits of wreckage. Ask that is left of me is chunks of shrapnel from a bomb that missed it's mark completely.
I'm done. Goodnight.