Train wreck

I feel sad and incapable today. I feel like I can't really get along with anyone, or be close to anyone... I don't know what's wrong with me. But I do know that I haven't treated you very well. I really do want to... I feel like I don't know how to treat anyone well. I was talking to my mother today and every conversation we had degraded into an argument. I don't understand how that happens. I feel like the world is a cold, mean and very loud place today. I don't know why I keep assuming the worst about you. I know in my heart that you are a good person, and I know that a good person wouldn't do the things my imagination comes up with. You have never given me any reason to doubt you, and my fears are entirely irrational. I do know that... I feel kind of stuck trying to fix it though. I really am trying to learn to give you the benefit of the doubt, at the very least.
I don't know. But I know I miss you.