I still can't believe you're gone. It's been 9 months... I miss you every minute of every day. I take xanax and ativan to dull the piercing anguish of your absence... It helps distract me from the memories of finding you, and the memories of the autopsy photos I had to view because the county is incompetent... But it doesn't make me stop missing you. I don't think anything ever could. I don't know if there's a hole in my heart, or if it's completely destroyed... I believe it is shattered. I am trying to put the pieces back together, but don't know how without you. You were my glue... You were the only person who was always in my corner. No matter what, you were there. I feel completely destroyed by your absence. You made the world a safe and fun place for me, a place full of possibilities... Now everything seems pointless without you... You were the center of my life. What do you do when the center of your life, of your heart, suddenly drops out? The floor suddenly disintegrated out from under me... From all of us... I miss you so much I feel like I'm dying of heartache... I don't know what to do without you.
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