I'm supposed to be writing a paper right now, but I can't think well enough to do it. My brain feels like jello. I hate med shifts. I decided not to take the sleeping pill tonight, even if it means not sleeping because I'd rather be off the rails manic than unable to use my brain. I read up a little on anterograde amnesia... some of it sounds vaguely familiar... but I can't remember why! lol
Anyway, about the paper... I need that spark of inspiration, and for my brain to wake up. I've been somewhat debilitated over the last couple of weeks (note, this is BEFORE holding the risperidone for allergy testing). I've decided to give my therapist the link to this blog, so if it seems to have suddenly gotten a bit more clinical, that's probably why.
Random ramblings.... Geez, I cannot focus today. I think this must be what non-writers feel like when they try to write. There aren't many thoughts in my head right now. Triazolam may not be the greatest for sleep for me, but it sure acts as a strong anti-manic in me. Strange... I wonder if anyone else has had that happen? Maybe I'll go ask someone. Anyway, before the triazolam, I was racing at full speed.... I know that feeling very well. My mind gets sharp, but then it sharpens too far and starts to zero in on strange things. I felt it coming. This is getting too personal. I think I'm done now.
Anyway, about the paper... I need that spark of inspiration, and for my brain to wake up. I've been somewhat debilitated over the last couple of weeks (note, this is BEFORE holding the risperidone for allergy testing). I've decided to give my therapist the link to this blog, so if it seems to have suddenly gotten a bit more clinical, that's probably why.
Random ramblings.... Geez, I cannot focus today. I think this must be what non-writers feel like when they try to write. There aren't many thoughts in my head right now. Triazolam may not be the greatest for sleep for me, but it sure acts as a strong anti-manic in me. Strange... I wonder if anyone else has had that happen? Maybe I'll go ask someone. Anyway, before the triazolam, I was racing at full speed.... I know that feeling very well. My mind gets sharp, but then it sharpens too far and starts to zero in on strange things. I felt it coming. This is getting too personal. I think I'm done now.
When you can't think well enough to write a paper on a topic, you should pick a better topic! One that is more suitable to your mind at the moment, and what it's trying to do. Obviously this won't help with the assignment at hand one bit, but it may give you a paper that A) you can use later in another course, B) will be suitable to develop later into a chapter or an interlude in your autobiography, or C) it could just be looked at as valuable for the writing practice it provides.
ReplyDeleteI suspect these suggestions would not strike anyone else as practical, but stuff like this totally works for me! Also, sometimes just the effort of writing something that's totally off-the rails discursive and tangent-ridden - I'm able to work through it to the point where I start to be coherent, then I can abandon it for later and switch to something else while the focus lasts. Make some progress there, then if the focus starts to fall apart again, go back to grinding on my Waste Paper. It gets pretty psychedelic after a while.
Anyway, that's one of the ways I mess with writer's block. The key is to have something you can bang away on where the result doesn't matter - something free-form, something improvised in the flow with no restrictions.
I hope you are sleeping.