I'm supposed to be working on my huge paper, so I'm here, warming up... letting the words to the thoughts spill out to get me started. I think I'm too tired to write. I haven't been sleeping very well lately... Naturally. On the days I take sleeping pills, I sleep just fine, but I'm not supposed to be taking them. Maybe if my shrink was taking me more seriously, I wouldn't need to. But that's just another thought... inside my head... these little voices, they're talking to me... I'm talking back again... Sorry...Sorry baby, I'm so sorry...
I seem to be coming down with something lately too. My throat hurts and my skin hurts. I do not understand why my skin hurts when I'm sick, but it does. I think I might be hungry, but I have zero interest in food these days. I haven't been eating much, some days not at all. Feeling sweet feeling, drips from my fingers... Manic depression is a frustrating mess!
So, I felt I needed fuel to reignite the flames of the written word inside my head, so I bought a bottle.... against the warning labels on my meds. Who cares? I'm not going anywhere. I live through everything. I must be here for something big because I never die. My laptop is uncomfortable. Is it bad that I relate so much to Eminem's music? I have stories that rival his lyrics easily... My life would scare a normal person. In fact, I learned that in everyday experiences. So I just don't talk to people about it. I don't tell people that when I was 14 and homeless, I used to break into houses, cook their food and leave. So many grilled cheese sandwiches with nice pans, in nice kitchens... Other people live so much better than me... that was when I learned that, I think. I wonder what it's like to function??
\Why do people call it "hard liquor"? It makes so much sense to just say "liquor". Weird.
I noticed a sharp increase in pageviews lately... Hi. :) How are you?
My little sister got singing lessons, I got poverty. Life is strange. My ipod is full. I think I might be hungry, but nothing sounds good. Food... what a pain in the ass. It takes too much time to make the food, eat it, etc. Boring! Something strange just happened to my post, but I'm just working right on through it. Fuck this, that little blue box is irritating. I'm done now.
I seem to be coming down with something lately too. My throat hurts and my skin hurts. I do not understand why my skin hurts when I'm sick, but it does. I think I might be hungry, but I have zero interest in food these days. I haven't been eating much, some days not at all. Feeling sweet feeling, drips from my fingers... Manic depression is a frustrating mess!
So, I felt I needed fuel to reignite the flames of the written word inside my head, so I bought a bottle.... against the warning labels on my meds. Who cares? I'm not going anywhere. I live through everything. I must be here for something big because I never die. My laptop is uncomfortable. Is it bad that I relate so much to Eminem's music? I have stories that rival his lyrics easily... My life would scare a normal person. In fact, I learned that in everyday experiences. So I just don't talk to people about it. I don't tell people that when I was 14 and homeless, I used to break into houses, cook their food and leave. So many grilled cheese sandwiches with nice pans, in nice kitchens... Other people live so much better than me... that was when I learned that, I think. I wonder what it's like to function??
\Why do people call it "hard liquor"? It makes so much sense to just say "liquor". Weird.
I noticed a sharp increase in pageviews lately... Hi. :) How are you?
My little sister got singing lessons, I got poverty. Life is strange. My ipod is full. I think I might be hungry, but nothing sounds good. Food... what a pain in the ass. It takes too much time to make the food, eat it, etc. Boring! Something strange just happened to my post, but I'm just working right on through it. Fuck this, that little blue box is irritating. I'm done now.
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