finding a way

This house is mine now, the bedroom I sleep in, the bed I sleep in... but it still feels like yours... I wait for you to come back even though I know that you are gone, gone forever. It's so hard to think about... that you'll be gone forever. I will never again see your face, hear your smile, hug you... For you are onto the next phase... and I don't even know what that means. I am dying to find out, though. I can't wait to die. If there is any chance to see you again, I can't wait to take it. I feel in my soul that there is more than this life... I don't know what's out there, but I don't particularly care anymore anyway. I am staying alive for my child, and those who need me. Without them, I've got no reason to live. There is nothing that I even care for, other than them, let alone anything I am passionate about. Maybe someday, I will have the capacity to feel something other than crushing despair... Maybe then I will care. But for now, I am alive for those who need me.