Can't sleep again

Stopped playing around with meds. No halcion, no seroquel... Tried upping xanax because I am allowed to do that, but it never makes me sleepy. I think I got maybe an hour so far. It's a little after 5am.

I'm tired of not sleeping. I'm tired of lots of things. I finished my paper. Good thing I'm good with tangents or I would've been screwed. My cat is weird, but I love him. My sister is here and can't sleep either. At least risperdal calms most of the rushing thoughts. I don't feel as much as usual but I can still tell I'm manic. Just a little less so. I weeded and pulled grass all afternoon. Talked to my boyfriend for a while. I hate typing on this stupid phone!!

My daughter is sleeping Ok so that's good. The cats must be crazy.

Green sky
Flying high
I let out a sigh
Saying goodbye

I think i might be hungry but have no interest in food. My eyes are heavy yet I'm not tired at all. Watching I love Lucy. And other random thoughts... Yes. I am hungry. But I don't care. Food doesn't seem interesting and will take too much time. Boring!

Cats chasing
Birds singing
Sun shining
Dog dining
Not sleeping
Not sweeping

All I can think about is all the things that need to get done. Even though my blanket is soft and warm. I finally closed the windows. I told my mom I was cold... She asked why I hadn't closed the windows. It really hadn't occurred to me.

More talking... Can't sleep! Clowns will eat me! No phone! Not east me! Stupid phone! Why do you people read this? I'm lucid enough (today) to realize it's not interesting... Oh well whatever nevermind...

Most of the 27 club was bipolar. We don't always live long. For a while I thought I'd be joining that club. Now I'm 32. I'm late for everything! Lol

Hot dog? No. Taquitos? No. Eggs? No. String cheese? Maybe, but probably not. Food isn't interesting enough. Besides, I already ate something today.... I can't for the life of me remember what the hell it was but I'm sure I ate. Most days, my mother feeds me something. How sad is that??

Maybe I didn't eat... Who knows? Not me. I had coffee... Hmm... I think I give up on sleeping. I might go make a mocha... And take my day meds... I love that I have an arrhythmia because it's easy to remember my meds. If I forget, my heart rate goes out of control and since I take it twice a day, I just take all my pills at the same time. Except xanax and stomach med. I notice when it's time for xanax and just take the stomach med with it.

The birds are singing me the prettiest song this morning. My brother's high school graduation is today. He's the first person in my immediate family to walk. No wonder my mental illness was so hard for me to believe... Lol

My phone is being really stupid. My cat is my friend. I think I'm done spewing nonsensical garbage for now.