Can't sleep

Without self medicating. Irritating! Thoughts just race through. I can't imagine what this would be like if I were on no meds. I think I'd be outside climbing trees in the middle of the night. I kicked a gas pump yesterday. I'm not proud but the fucking thing wasn't reading my card. Turned out I was taking it out too fast. Then I locked myself out of my car and had to break into it. I have skills in that department. Not proud... It's 4am and I feel like bursting out of my skin. I called my shrink's office to get in sooner... One more week until I can bitch about my meds not working. My cat spent two hours hunting a moth. He even meowed at it. It was funny. I have blisters all over my hands from breaking into my car. The people who know me are all concerned about me. Yesterday I had mild hallucinations. Last night I slept well but it was only because of the pot. I feel bad when I smoke it because I'm a parent. I only ever use it medicinally (like when I can't sleep or eat). Yesterday I couldn't sleep or eat until I smoked. I was a bit slower today because of it. I'm sore EVERYWHERE and still can't stop moving. Or thinking. Yet no good ideas so far. Except ideas of going somewhere else. I feel very restless... I want a road trip so bad. I should get to see my boyfriend sometime soon. That'll be awesome. Sometimes I can't believe we're still together. This is my longest relationship in years. It's nice. I'm bored now. Good day. I said GOOD DAY!