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Saturday, June 20, 2015

Mood swings, I forgot, and strange substances

I tried Xhosa dream root last night. My dreams were as fuzzy as usual. I blame all the benzos. However, when I reached for my levothyroxine this morning, I had a sudden flashback of one of my dreams... In it, I was at my doctor's office. She wanted to pull a free T4 on me, which means she wanted to check my thyroid hormone levels. Due to horrendous suffering, I've taken my dose into my own hands, and I'm way over my recommended amount. They recommend I stay on the low side of normal, which leaves me with parched skin, thin hair, an extra 30 lbs, no motivation, no energy, muscle pain, joint pain, no appetite, brittle yet soft fingernails which break below the nail bed (ouch). In my dream, I was terrified that she'd find out I had tampered with my dose. I could feel the panic when I remembered the dream.

I took more dream root this morning, the recommended way... We'll see what happens tonight. Since I've been on it today (i took my dose in the early morning like you're supposed to), I've felt more upbeat, more energetic, and just generally happier. I could see myself taking this long term. At first, I noticed very slight hallucinogenic properties, but only very slight, and they went away quickly.

I'm trying to lose weight now because I am 30-40lbs overweight and can't stand it. My arthritis can't stand it either.

I'm done with this post. I'm tired and I'm going to bed now. Goodnight, interwebz.

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